Being alone was never easy. However, it was especially difficult to be single during the holidays. Year in, year out – my family was always pressuring me to find someone. On the surface, it would appear that I would never find anyone. I remember all the things people would say to me, trying to be constructive and most the needle of companionship faster for me…
Crappy things people said when I was single:
“Your standards are too high.”
“What are you waiting for?”
“You aren’t getting any younger.”
“You’re running out of time.”
The reality of the situation, is although it was a painful time – pain is information – and it was time well-spent. I could address the sources of my pain and heal them. This did several things for me.
3 Great Lessons I Learned During My Tough, Lonely Time:
1 – It helped me be a better partner once I was whole.
2 – I learned to enjoy the holidays by myself, so my happiness was not depended on other people.
3 – Spending holidays with my love was very special once I had him.
Despite the lessons and the nay-sayers, there was one fundamental truth I never stopped believing in. Nothing rings truer than love. This is how I know it isn’t just mean for one of us… it’s meant for all of us.
If I can have it – so can you.
You don’t need to turn into a total trickster, but a little strategy never hurt.
Today I have a message with you and the 4 ways I immediately improved my love life.
You were meant for love. There is no question about it. The only key is trying to learn what to do. I’ll show you exactly what to do.
My Client Finds Love Right Under Her Nose
I teach my clients how to find love. Here is one fun story about how one of my great clients found love in plain sight.
My client was beautiful and spirited, yet overwhelmed in life. She was busy launching her career and juggling her many friends… how could she possibly have time for a relationship? Yet she still wanted love.
Although she talked about the struggles in other areas of life, the majority of the conversation would always revolve around finding companionship and being in a fulfilling relationship.
The fact she was staying so busy was a defense mechanism. We worked together to see through the busy parts of her life and she was able to find hope in the brilliance of togetherness. We worked through the same keys I’ll share with you. She let go of the fear of rejection and embraced herself for exactly the beautiful spirit she was. She created space for love and imagined what it would be like to have that love.
Meanwhile, she continued investing in her many good friendships.
Each week, when I asked her what she was celebrating, she always talked about a certain young man. He was a dear friend and despite her busy and chaotic career, he regularly dropped by to give her dinner and would plan relaxing activities each weekend.
“Tell me about this young man,” I asked. “He seems like a great guy.”
She responded positively but he wasn’t really what she was looking for. He wasn’t 100% of what she wanted.
“What, exactly, are you looking for in your relationship?” I asked.
“Someone who will support me in everything – someone I can be myself with and who understands me.”
I asked more questions about her friend and she agreed to give it some thought.
During our next session, she was gushing. She realized he was exactly what she had been looking for and she had him all along. He had made a joke about being a couple and she gave him a positive response. He was blown away and even several months later, when this young lady graduated from coaching with me – they were madly in love and she couldn’t imagine her life without him.
You Were Meant For Love
You were meant for love. There is no question about it. The only key is trying to learn what to do.
I believe in strategy. It’s cool to work hard, but you really need to be working smart too if you want to get anywhere.
Trick #1 – Love You First
You need to take the time to take care of yourself. The truth is – your ideal partner isn’t looking for someone needy and dependent on them. They are looking for an evolved partner to enhance their lives. Become the evolved person. Once you love yourself – it’s time to work on liking yourself. This can be even more difficult. However, there is nothing more attractive than the spark of waking up, thrilled by the gift of getting to be you. Once you appreciate this – your uniqueness, eccentricities and quirks included , everyone else will too.
How can I begin to Love myself?
There are people going through life. I see them. You see them.
Some are so happy, they cannot contain themselves. Others seem almost cursed, nothing works out for them.
On one hand, those who have been successful first had to face the deepest of tragedies. It is through the difficult times and making the journey out of the puddle that we develop character, leadership and depth.
This was one of the main elements that attracted me to the love of my life.
Depth is one of the most attractive characteristics in a life partner.
4 Steps to Reaching any goal (even Loving yourself):
Life already knows what you want. If you do too, it creates a recipe for success.
Trick # 2 – Make Room in Your Life for Love
I learned to make room by physically changing my environment. I cleared out my closet and left some space for my ideal partners things. I began sleeping on only one side of my bed, leaving space for my ideal partner. I would bring two glasses of water instead of one – sure to be thoughtful of my ideal partner. I would even set the table for two when cooking dinner at night.
When he did enter my life, I had already created room for my love. He had a place I had literally carved out – just for him.
Trick # 3 – Feel What Love Would Feel Like
Listen to songs and watch movies as though you are not alone. Begin generating the feelings necessary to believe you was not only worthy of love but that someone is meant to reciprocate those feelings.
Trick # 4 – Be Willing to Accept Love
Yes, love can make you vulnerable. Vulnerability can be scary!
If it has the potential to hurt, why should we even bother?
I remember a question asked of Esther Hicks that was very similar to this.
“Why do dogs continue to stick their heads out the car window, even when they get gnats in their eye?”
The answer: Even though there risks involved, the exhilaration of life keeps us living.
Take this knowledge and use it to your greatest benefit. You were meant for love.
Always remember, you are precious.
Before I leave you, I have one additional video for you to watch.
When I left for Europe in March, I promised to have something very special when I returned.
My gift to you was doing Life Coaching videos for 30 days.
I am took questions and answered them. Here is one that applies to this topic from that series:
We are all looking for our other half. Dating isn’t easy. However, it can be fun.
I spent years going on 1,000’s of successful dates. Here I share some of my greatest wisdom with you. I share the 4 steps I use evry time I begin looking for a serious relationship and in fact, “The One.”
Today, I’m blissfully married to an incredible man and partner. I would not be where I am today, in such a happy relationship without having followed these steps.
Categories: Better Relationships